This one moment

This one moment I am here

Here but can’t define myself

This one moment I am falling for you

Falling to give my life in your name

This one moment my heart is breaking

Breaking with the rigorous wave of your love

This one moment my emotions are sweet

Sweet enough to shower me with bliss

This one moment I am so touched

Touched with your myriad inclusiveness

This one moment the world just faded

Faded away now only you are here

This one moment you matter the most

That even I don’t matter to myself

This one moment even pain is worthy

Worthy enough to bloom the wisdom

 

The other moment I am somewhere

Somewhere yet can’t define myself

This moment you mean little less to me

Less enough that I could postpone my life

This one moment I can’t hear my heartbeat

The Beats waned under the loud silly gossips

This one moment my emotions are dry

Dry enough to just repel all the moisture

This one moment I’m rowing in the boats

Rowing for ages but reaching nowhere

This one moment I am so bored

Bored enough to avoid my wordings………….

 

 

….But the next moment I am on once more

To pour my heart with these fragile words

And this moment  again I’m falling for you

Falling hard enough to destroy myself.

This one moment…………….

 

Advertisements

Myth of freedom

​The pair of wings, that you give me each time 

To fly across the wall & kiss the zenith

But this damned razor sharp, intellect of mine

Chops it down turning freedom into myth

Squack

A piece of knowledge that crawled all the way

In the midst of life and the words that you say

A drop of this honeydew if dripped in my vein

Could transform my life and untouched by pain

Blossoming of wisdom, if head and hands were bound

But the wacky parrot is busy gossiping around

Entrapped

This huge lustrous metal chamber                                                                                                                   in the core yet a haunting cage                                                                                                                     Been entrapped here for years & years                                                                                                       Scarce of desire and the courage

All gates are opened to myriad sky                                                                                                                     A step could probably set me free                                                                                                                 But the restless monkey that dwells in me                                                                                                     is busy gamboling among the trees

The Reason

Here is the full time confused being
Crushed the belief, urge for knowing
The rhythm of your’s  all set to dance
Against the life , there stands no chance

Actions here are all  oriented outside
No fear of hell nor greed for paradise
Important & inessential  are all the same
No victory nor loss yet the intense game

This move I shall make to touch  life’s core
Coz today I have a reason to explore…………….

That edge of emotion

I walked with a candle to brighten my world                                                                                             you blew it out to the night and cold.                                                                                                           You poked me and showed all, that wasn’t me                                                                                         To see beyond what eyes couldn’t see

I walked around, with the water full vessel                                                                                               Contented and complete, moment of fall                                                                                                 you came like an ocean hard on my face                                                                                                   your inclusiveness, the way you embrace

Love, compassion, gratitude devotion                                                                                                         You fledged beyond the limits of emotion                                                                                                 Here, break & knead me into your integrity                                                                                             And help me out of this blur identity

Blissful moments from the feeble inclusion                                                                                                At the edge of intellect and all the emotion                                                                                                can’t content it, spills down, dribbles through                                                                                           I wonder what it is like to become you.

Loading……….

Your explosives have shaken all my ground
Untouched is the core no other world found
How high I may jump yet can’t hold the sky
You see I’ve no wings to stabilize and fly

Now all I know is that I don’t know
And can’t trust a thing that it shows
A sphere of confusion with ignorance to pain
Come and destroy me completely before I turn insane.

CHOCOLATE TO THE STRANGER

August 3, 2015

Crossed leg, erect spine and palms on thigh turned up to the ceiling, there I was among the volunteers seeing all what I could see through my dirt full spectacles. It was second day of the workshop, WeBE which continued with its obvious excitements and fun.

“Today I have a homework for you. Are you all ready?-” asked Bhawesh Sir.

“YES” -barked all the participants as if all they wanted was to blow the ceiling off.

“The homework is when you go home buy a chocolate and eat it. Just pamper yourself”

Now this was a bit much for my little head. Surfing over the memory what I remembered was how some people complained about their energy issues and Sir often explained it was because of their devour  for chocolate. And that day, there he was out of blue instructing them to nibble one. Weird isn’t it?

Honestly it all seemed as good as his bearded. Tangled and messy. 😉 But then, who would bother what your muddled head says when your tongue and teeth are all ready to somersault over the chocolate.

August 4, 2015

“Today you give chocolate to someone dear to you. Pamper them.”

This one did fit into my head. Anyway it would be even better if the dear ones are kind enough to share the chocolate.

August 5, 2015

Then there ca me the other day, vicariously adjusted to be very hot. Story began when Bhawesh sir masked himself with a very disappointed expression. There was “Soak yourself in guilt” ceremony especially for those participants who thought giving chocolate was a great sin or perhaps they strongly believed that doing homework would land them to the hell.

This way participants were taken to emotional ride. All you could see was a very talented actor and whole bunch of guilty faces. This continued for couple of minutes and then the melodrama was over.

“Today you’ll be learning a new thing. I will tell you how mind works. After that………”-Said Bhawesh Sir with mysterious smile and carefully letting out only a portion of it.

Hall got quieter as he instructed one of the volunteer to enlist the functions of mind.

PROOF
FANTASY
WRONG KNOWLEDGE
SLEEP
MEMORY

“These are five functions of mind. Everything that mind does is within it.”

After illustrating each of the functions and emphasizing on the need of getting beyond it he came up with new homework.

“OK. Now there is one more homework. This time I hope you’ll not disappoint me. Will you do it?” –asked Bhawesh Sir.

“YES”

“Great. You have pampered yourself. You’ve given chocolate to someone who is dear to you. Now this time …….you give chocolate to a stranger…..”

This one seemed very interesting to me that I quickly decided to give it a try…………Chocolate to the stranger…………………..

August 6, 2015

The day started with cold chilled morning and unwelcomed drizzle. The time when one would be either snoring or taking a sip of hot coffee, there I was in my coaching class, attending a very long boring lecture and serving breakfast to the mosquitoes. This is what you go through when you over smartly choose a window seat. You wanna stare at the green bushes and kill your time?? Great go ahead. But it costs, for bush is mosquito’s home so you have to pay for it. Oh! Dear me how I missed my closed shoes. The entire morning revolved around the sleepy head and itchy feet. FINALLY the class was over and we moved out. It was pretty warm by then. Slowly as I walked across the street, a shop aside the road reminded of the task……..Chocolate to the stranger………….

“So will you take the task?”- He asked all of sudden.

“Yes, of course. Sounds interesting.”- I replied

“And which chocolate are you planning to buy?”- He asked again.

“Ah…..dunno exactly. I’ll get a good one.”- I said

“Don’t be stupid. You never know if the stranger is really going to eat it ever. He might throw it away.”- He snapped.

“But it doesn’….”

“Would you eat one???….like offered by STRANGER???”-He questioned.

“May be you are right. I’ll go with average one.”

As I reached at the edge of the temple, there I noticed a shop and quickly bought some candies then I walked all the way to my home.

“Ah….there is an old man standing. I’ll give him.”-I decided.

“Wait!! Are you sure? What if he got angry?”-He asked.

“But why would he get angry?”- I questioned back.

“Haven’t you heard of old folks who take eatables from stranger and end up getting robbed?”- He said.

“Oh yeah I’ll try someone else then.”

“A man is there maybe I should give him.”- I said

“No way. Can’t you see he is a guy? What if he takes it other way?”-He said furiously.

“Well then let’s forget about him”

“What about that woman? I’ll give her.”-I said

“Are you sure? Just look at her face. She looks so rude. She could freak-out.”-He suggested.

“Oh yeah…….” I said getting more hopeless.

“You know…It’s lucky that you’re a girl. Imagine if you were a guy and offered candy to a girl. She could misinterpret you and insult you at public”

“Yes that would be really scary.”-I said choking out a laugh.

“And even more, so called socially aware public could give some multi fist thumps and smack you from every possible angle. Just like in movies. ”- He said.

“How do you think everyone will react if you simply turned up into the workshop with blackened eyes and broken limbs?”-he added

“I can’t imagine. It would be so…….”- I said laughing harder.

“What about this man near the pole? I’ll give him.”-I said

“Yes that looks ok. Give him.”- He agreed.

“But wait. Maybe he lives somewhere around here. What will you do if you meet him some other day after this and if he tried to talk. ”-He said

“Oh. I didn’t think that.”

“What about that lady adjacent to the shop?”-I asked.

“That’s perfect. Give it to her.”- He said

“Hang on. What’ll you say if she asked what the candies are for?”-

“Like instructed. I’ll say I am very happy today so…..”-I replied.

“SERIOUSLY???? Tell me honestly. Are you really happy?”-He interrogated.

I checked.

“Actually no……………I am not feeling good.”- I said, feeling worst as I realized it.

Without giving chocolate to a single stranger, I reached home, completely irritated and frustrated.

“You don’t seem to be feeling good now. I will see you later”-He said trying to console me.

“Yup. See you later. By the way what’s your name?”-I asked forcing a smile.

“Ah…..well Call me mind.”- He replied. Then he was gone.

 

“It’s too hard to digest. It was twenty minutes way. I had fistful of candies. God knows how many strangers were there, hanging all around and yet I couldn’t make it.”

“Why am I like this? Why the hell did it happen? It is such a simple task; just pick a stranger and held out the candies. What’s big deal?  “Transformation” hell with it. There hasn’t been any transformation. It’s all bogus. :/ This is what I am, a confidence less freak and this damn prana why on the earth is it so down???…………………….Argggh”

“Why?”

“Why did it happen?”

“Why didn’t it happen?”

“Why couldn’t I make it happen?  Such a simple task.” :/

The pain of this biasness turned me down into the tears. I could feel my head stressed and struggling. I didn’t know what to do. Broken and pathetic, helplessly I threw myself on the bed and closed my moist eyes.

“Ah…well call me mind”

I felt a cold shiver as his voice echoed in my head. Suddenly I woke up.

MIND  MIND  MIND  MIND

Yesterevening was lively dancing in front on me then. Quickly I surfed over my conversation.

“Are you sure the stranger will eat it?”

“Are you sure he wouldn’t be angry?”

Bloody mind was seeking for PROOF.

“Imagine if U were a guy and…………….”

It was making me FANTASIZE the stuffs that had nothing to do with reality.

“She looks so rude”

“He’ll take it other way.”

It was feeding me with WRONG KNOWLEDGE and how dully I took a bite.

It scrolled over the MEMORY and made me believe that I am a confidence less.

Such a filthy git.

That’s why Bhawesh sir said it was important to rise beyond the mind.

“Mind is a bad master and a very good servant.”

Whoever said this he is so true. I gave myself to mind and it ruined everything. All these years I believed big mind wraps big intelligence. I don’t know if it’s true but with dominant mind, mind may fake its intelligence with accumulated memories but it will always fool you around.

Suddenly I could feel all the hopes, energy, pranas or whatever you call it, rising.

“Knowledge is power”

Oh such a wise man whoever said it. I could give him a hug.

Next moment I found myself hopping around the home; singing and dancing. With this bursting joy I moved on the street. Laughing to myself, madly excited, super excited and empowered.

At the edge of the street there was a college girl.

“Are you sure. Maybe she’ll think you’re a psycho or even more sh…………..” It attempt to suggest.

“Oh shut up”- I snapped.

“Excuse me. Please take these chocolate.”- I requested and held out my hand.

“Ah…..why?” She inquired with all the confused expression.

“Just Because I am so happy today.” – Honestly I expressed my reality.

“No I don’t need it.”- She hesitated.

“Please take it. Please.”- I begged. Placed it in her hand and moved away.

“Finally I made it.”

Excitements overloaded. I didn’t know what to do. Emotions were making their place. Wonderful, Gratitude and what not. Didn’t know where to spill them all so I quickly texted to Bhawesh sir and moved on.

“Hey you forgot about the girl. Do you think she ate it?” – It asked.

“That’s none of my business. Can’t you see I am too busy being happy ……………………. By the way why on the earth are you acting so skeptical? Forget about it and just seize the moment.”- I snapped.

Give your best and FORGET ABOUT THE REST. (Bhawesh)

WOW never in my life I’d ever known. “Forget about the rest.” Would turn out to be such a wonderful thing.

To my surprise the day was exuberating with lots of experience. One more lesson that I learnt was “Never Underestimate the Simplicity.” You never know what great secret might get revealed out of casual stuff. It sounds funny but “With an ounce of observations, a fistful of candies can transform the burden of knowledge into wisdom.” 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

.